Embracing Imperfection: A Dyslexic Writer's Journey to Compassion and Creativity

“Your writing is terrible, and the grammar is awful,” said the dyslexic writing coach on the phone.

Six years ago, I wrote an eBook and workbook on Porn Addiction.

Throughout school, college, and psychotherapy training, writing and studying were constant struggles.

Spelling, grammar, and sentence construction felt like a foreign language to me.

I overcompensated by striving for perfection, draining my energy and time.

I thought I was stupid and slow.

It was undiagnosed dyslexia.

Holding the phone after the dyslexic coach's harsh critique, all the shame came flooding back. Memories of being laughed at when reading aloud in class, being called stupid, and failing in school resurfaced.

The anxiety and fear of being asked to read aloud in front of people often took over my body.

I stopped writing after that phone call.

That was seven years ago. The eBook was never published.

Five Years Later

On a cold November evening in 2017, a voice woke me up, urging me to get up and write. I tried to ignore it, but it grew louder and louder.

With great resistance, I got out of bed, reached for my laptop, and sat down on the sofa. Pulling a blanket over me, I closed my eyes and started to type. The words flowed.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes to see poetry and prose on the screen. I called this initial writing phase "Letters from God."

Now, I have over 700 poems in my collection.

I still mix up words and make spelling and grammar mistakes. I often use "ember" instead of "amber," or "alter" instead of "altar." But it is no longer a shameful experience.

Lessons Learned

What I learned from the dyslexic writing coach’s comments is:

1. Do not let other people’s judgments stop your self-expression.

2. Do not be afraid of shame.

When shame arises, our first instinct is often to ignore it and push it back into the cave.

Befriend shame. This journey can be painful, but it is necessary.

We all have different talents, gifts, and expressions. Shame can block these on an unconscious level and leave them unlived within you.

On the spiritual path, we often hear that shame is not part of our true nature or essence. It’s easy to reject a part of ourselves that doesn’t fit our spiritual projection.

The Path of Compassion

Compassion is the companion of shame.
Wherever shame wanders, let compassion follow

Some aspects of spirituality can hold us back. Emotions and shame are part of the human experience. It is not un-spiritual to feel them!

The day I started writing poetry changed my life in unimaginable ways. The voice that urged me to get up and write awakened something within me. It stirred my poetic muse and creativity.

But I also had to face the dyslexic shame of not being good enough, the fear of judgment, and the fear of being found out for my spelling mistakes.

In befriending shame, I also began to befriend compassion.

An Invitation

Through others’ judgments, we can still show up. Don’t let their words of judgment become shackles holding you back from your joy, purpose, and gift.

Beyond all else, let’s begin to befriend shame. She is a wounded part of our inner self. It may feel difficult at first to turn around and face this part of ourselves.

Through my journey and research, I found that the first step in befriending shame is to start from a place of inner compassion.

This is the path of being human.