A Recovering Perfectionist’s Journey to Surrender
Surrendering to the flow of life, where there is an invitation bigger than myself.
I felt an urge to write today. A message stirred within me, yet when I sat at my laptop I struggled to write. It’s been a long time since i wrote poetry or anything.
I guess I have been in my wintering. Pausing on life, unravelling, unwinding, and decluttering my mind and body.
Finishing an old story that was well beyond her lived by date.
So I paused.
Slowed down.
And took a gentle breath into my heart,
to give space for the unsaid to take form.
The rain whispers against the window. My elderly 21 year old tabby cat, Teddy, sleeps beside me, his steady breathing weaving into the quiet of the room.
Outside, the sun waits for her moment, her sacred duty to rise. She does this every day—unwavering, unhurried.
The wonder of nature.
Today marks the first day of Advent, December 1st. A day of hope, preparation, and quiet expectation.
In recent weeks, I’ve been sitting with surrender, making it my daily practice.
For a recovering control freak—armed with a PhD in perfectionism—surrender doesn’t come easily. Trusting in something larger than myself feels like climbing Snowdon: daunting, unpredictable, and humbling.
About 20 years ago, I joined a hiking group of strangers to climb Snowdon. The ascent began under the blessing of the sun, but as is often the way in Wales, the weather turned without warning. Mist and fog enveloped us, visibility vanished, and the wind roared with a force I’ll never forget. It was so strong it lifted me, a mere 4ft11 and then barely 55kgs, threatening to throw me off the mountain’s edge. Someone had to hold on to me to keep me grounded.
Nature reminded us of her power. I had no choice but to trust—not just in myself, but in the people who stop me being blown off a mountain. I needed to surrender, but it was a forced surrender!
When we finally reached the summit, I cried. Tears of relief, gratitude, and triumph: I did it. I survived.
It’s tempting to trick the mind into believing we’ve surrendered. To create the illusion of letting go. It reminds me of when someone has a spiritual awakening, announcing to the world, “I’m awake!” As if they’ve reached some grand conclusion, they have arrived at an unknown destination without it being embodied. The mind loves to rejoice in the awakening while the body is still integrating it.
Perhaps they don’t realise it’s only the first step. A gentle invitation on open the door of the birthing chamber.
I wonder if what we call spiritual awakening is simply an invitation to remember. To remember what we’ve forgotten: the call of the heart, the essence of who we are beyond the chaos of the world and the chatter of the mind.
To step aside,
to let the little “I” stop gripping so tightly,
and allow something greater to lead.
Here on the English highways, we have many lanes. The right lane is for the slower drivers, the middle for those moving at a steady pace, and the left lane—the impatient ones, rushing to destinations as if life itself depends on their speed.
Those lanes represent life!
Perhaps surrendering is a little like changing lanes. Shifting over so that something bigger—something wiser—can take the wheel. Allowing it to guide while anxiety, fear, and the restless mind take a much-needed rest in the back seat.
Surrender.
It’s not about giving up—it’s about giving over. Trusting that the sun will rise, as she always does. That life will flow, as it always has. Even in this time of heartbreaking war, genocide and chaos in our world at the moment.
Surrendering isn’t passive. It’s an active choice to rest in the wisdom of something far beyond our control.
And maybe, just maybe,
that’s where the magic begins.
Linda is a coach, podcast host, and unapologetically human. With a deep passion for helping others reconnect with their true selves, Linda has worked with over 1,500 clients, empowering them to unclutter their minds, listen to their hearts, and live fully embodied lives. Her approach is rooted in compassion, clarity, and a fierce commitment to helping you embrace your humanity and live with purpose.
Ready to unclutter your mind, reconnect with your heart, and live in alignment with your body?
Work with Linda and begin your journey to a more authentic, grounded, and fulfilling life. Book a free consultation today and take the first step toward the life waiting for you.